bdmetronews Desk ॥ Martina Maya-Callen, a 20-year-old honor roll student at Salisbury University, has had what she calls, “a very unhealthy relationship” with her body image ever since she can remember. “The reflection in the mirror hated me, and I hated her right back,” she says.
For a long time, she followed dieting tips she found on websites promoting anorexia, which led to a self-destructive mindset and restrictive eating habits. In recent years, things have gotten much better: Inspired by a quote she picked up from body positivity advocate Megan Crabbe (@bodyposipanda) – “You will never hate yourself into loving yourself” – Martina felt empowered to give herself a break and simply accept her body for what it is. It’s an approach that’s helping her become more comfortable in her skin and learn to love her body.
As an artist majoring in sculpture, and conflict analysis and dispute resolution, Martina likes finding ways to reflect her own personal journey through art. So she decided to create a live performance project titled “The Hidden Secret of Eating Disorders,” timed to correspond with National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.
“I wanted to create a sculpture that depicted the darkness and entrapment of a negative body image, self-hate, and eating disorders,” she explains. So Martina constructed a standing closet large enough to fit one person. Inside, she burned the message, “Welcome,” signed by “Ana,” on a doormat to represent anorexia. She covered the rest of the floor with scales covered with the words that go through many people’s minds when they’re silently suffering from disordered eating.
The structure’s walls are made from black plastic with a dual meaning: The material represents the trashcan some sufferers use to purge, and at the same time, a body bag for those who die from striving to reach unrealistic standards of beauty. There are also broken mirrors to represent feelings of insufficiency and insecurity. Martina parked the sculpture on campus, then asked people to enter the closet, one at a time, and reflect on these issues by writing on the walls.
At the same time, she wanted to project body positivity and raise awareness with a statement of self-love outside the closet. To illustrate her vulnerability, she decided to wear a nude body suit in public – a big deal, since she doesn’t typically skip around campus in her skivvies, and even tends to avoid swimming pools to sidestep the whole swimsuit thing. It’s one reason she mentally freaked out once her clothes came off: “The second that I pulled down my pants [outside], all I could think in my head was, ‘I am actually doing this. I am actually doing this.'”
